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For this new CardCraft love language series, we will be diving into the expression of love.

It is imperative that we, as a collective, teach people of all ages how to express love in a healthy way.

“Love language,” as a term, has become so contrived and overused that it has basically lost all meaning. I think it’s time for a serious makeover, and that seems to be my mission on earth during my time here. It’s time to unearth the root of the problem. People who lack love for themselves create toxic relationships with others, especially when they believe they are incapable of properly giving or receiving love.

In 1992 (almost 30 years ago!), Dr. Gary Chapman wrote the book, The Five Love Languages, which quickly became recognized as a standard in relationship literature that explained these concepts in depth:

  1. Physical Touch
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Quality Time
  4. Gifts
  5. Words of Affirmation

My argument is that we shouldn’t always have to frame “love” in terms of romantic partners! In fact, I want to spin it in another direction—inward, toward ourselves. 

What was the last conscious action you’ve taken to love yourself? When was it? Under which love language category did it fall? I believe we can effortlessly and healthily express our feelings for others by trusting and caring for ourselves appropriately first.

Click here to remind someone to love themselves with a handmade card.
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Which one is the lie?

  1. Each love language can be expressed differently and on a spectrum.
  2. We only need to know our own love languages in order to use them properly.
  3. If two people have different primary love languages, they can still have a successful relationship.
  1. Each love language can be expressed differently and on a spectrum.
    Truth! As with most everything, love expression is not black and white; in fact, it’s made up of rainbows of colors. We need to think of the “five” languages as a whole universe of possibilities.
  2. We only need to know our own love languages in order to use them properly.
    Lie! After seeing these five love languages listed, some people might go ahead “pick their favorite” love language and assume that because it sounds the best, that it is theirs. They may say, “I love cuddling, so physical touch is my love language.” We need to see all of them through the lens of giving and receiving, and consider how to vary each one to match the needs of all parties involved.
  3. If two people have different primary love languages, they can still have a successful relationship.
    Truth! In the upcoming blogs, I will explain different ways to think about each love language. Stay tuned for Part 2!
Madeline Goldman

Madeline Goldman

Portland, Oregon / Music / Arts / Humanities

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